Captured

I just finished reading Angie Smith's blog (http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/). I laughed while relating to some of the things she shared about raising her daughters, and I cried.

If you're reading this and have not followed Angie's blog, you are missing out. Angie is the wife of lead Selah singer Todd Smith. Angie and Todd recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, their fourth daughter, and 2 hours later, quietly handed her back to God.

I came across Angie's blog when I was searching for new CD's that might be out from Selah as they are by far one of my favorite praise and worship groups, not to mention some of the most talented singers ever! I jumped into Angie's blog in the middle of her story, of her struggles of learning that the baby she was carrying may not take a breath of air. I cried then too. This time I cried as Angie shared her and Todd's pain as they struggled with making hard decisions that many of us have never had to even think about and about the time lost with the baby they would never get to see grow into a woman. As a mother, I hurt because she hurt, and I selfishly looked at my now grown children and thanked God that mine were healthy and here on earth with me.

But today when I cried, it wasn't because my heart hurt for Angie as she expressed her pain. Thankfully God is giving Angie that wonderful peace that goes beyond what we could ever expect. Peace in times where we think we can't live through whatever trial or situation we are going through. I cried as I was reading through her blog titled Blink. (she's a wonderful author in addition to being a wonderful person). In this posting, she writes how mental images stay with us like photographs. Her daughter expressed interest in wishing she had a camera to capture her mommy kissing her sister "because that was a beautiful picture you just made". Angie responded with "Well let's just blink our eyes and keep that one in our heads, then." Angie then shares memories of moments she has captured mental photographs of.

Angie ends her blog with a mental image that spoke to my heart and moved me to tears. One of our dear precious heavenly Father, as the photographer of our life. I realized again that I have taken my eyes off of THE one making these pictures in my life. I am rushing through life without taking time to snap pictures, whether with a camera or in my mental scrapbook. I hear myself say all too often, "I can't believe it's August already" (or the previous month, or the month before that). I flit from one day to the next, one project to the next, forgetting to blink.

Forgive me Father for taking advantage of the beauty that surrounds me, of the beauty of time, of the beauty of the love of my family.

I cannot repharse it any better, so I have quoted from Angie's blog.

"I'm still here, (Mindy). Tucked away behind this trusty old camera. Now remember, you have this moment, child... That's it, turn your head a little more toward me...Do you trust me? A little more toward me...there...perfect...
Blink."