I Can Do It All By Myself...NOT!

Week 6 of the OBS Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles gets us into the chapter "I Can Do It Myself....Or Can I?". Tracie describes her young son trying to tie his own shoes when he was at a stage where he was not yet able to. Then when he was offered help he would get frustrated and proclaim "I can do it myself!"

Not that long ago I found myself frustrated with just about everything that was happening around me. I thought after quitting working for someone else since I was 14 would be liberating, so why was I so irritated all the time? I was irritated so frequently that I was becoming frustrated with myself for being so irritated! I felt like I was in a downward spiral and wasn't sure how to climb back up.  

Frustration is defined as: The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. Well that fit me to a "T". It's been a little over a year since I quit my corporate job and I am just beginning to see that I really don't like having to rely on others.... for anything.  

Starting at the young age of 14 I began earning my own paycheck which allowed me some liberties to shop for some items I had always wanted. My parents, raising 4 children on one income, weren't able to  always purchase my wants. They instead were trying to keep 4 kids needs fulfilled first. As my age and experience progressed, so did my paychecks. It was exhilarating to be able to buy items with my own money.

After I got married, I once again had to squelch the wants and focus on our needs. Almost right away, my honey and I found ourselves in debt with children coming. We had to shuffle and pinch every penny we made. Much later down the road, after many hard lessons we finally began to breathe when our paychecks begin to afford us some luxuries. 

In April of 2012 after much prayer and deliberation, honey and I agreed it was time that I could step away from a stressful job and focus on doing something I really wanted to do.  Shortly after this major change, the frustration moved in.

Here is what I have come to realize that was making me so frustrated (read: the inability to change or achieve something). 1. I wasted a LOT of money once I had it.  2. I no longer bring in an income. 3. I really don't have a clue what I want to do.

My aha moment has been coming along slowly, but chapter 6 has helped to nail it down. First, the realization that God has good things for me has caused Satan to take notice.   Tracie says " the enemy wants us to feel discouraged and ill-equipped to handle life."  That is exactly where I've been recently!  She goes onto say "So he puts pride in our hearts, making us think we are capable of being self-sufficient." I never really realized that I had that kind of pride in me. But yes, since I was 14 I was doing things for myself that others either couldn't or wouldn't do for me. So shortly after I quit my job, I was still in "I can do it all by myself" mode.  Then reality hit.

"Until we embrace his sovereignty and power as the only way and quit trying to do things our own way, we will be  doomed to a life of frustration and stress." -Tracie Miles

John 15: 4-5 tells us all so elegantly, that without Christ, we can do nothing.  Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.  Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

Father God, I thank you that You have opened my eyes to the root of my frustration. I am so done being frustrated and want to live a blessed life. I thank You that You are a merciful and patient father who has been waiting on me to realize I have to stay focused on YOU to be successful in anything I do. Forgive me of my pride. Lord, please continue to shape me into the person You want me to be and let me be a witness to others to seek You first in all things.  

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33


  1. It's so hard to give it up... and most of the times we don't even realize we are grasping it so hard! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Mindy,

    The one take away that I took away from this chapter is one of the same that you did.

    "Until we embrace his sovereignty and power as the only way and quit trying to do things our own way, we will be doomed to a life of frustration and stress." -Tracie Miles

    It is so nice to know that we are not alone in the way we feel and react to situations. God Bless you in your journey.

  3. Everything you've shared sounds so familiar - from the self-sufficiency at a young age, to quiting your job, to the frustration, and the revelations in chapter 6 on pride. Thanks for sharing your story and lessons. It was eye-opening. May God continue to bless your SSL journey.

  4. Great post....thanks for sharing

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