I Can Do It All By Myself...NOT!

Week 6 of the OBS Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles gets us into the chapter "I Can Do It Myself....Or Can I?". Tracie describes her young son trying to tie his own shoes when he was at a stage where he was not yet able to. Then when he was offered help he would get frustrated and proclaim "I can do it myself!"

Not that long ago I found myself frustrated with just about everything that was happening around me. I thought after quitting working for someone else since I was 14 would be liberating, so why was I so irritated all the time? I was irritated so frequently that I was becoming frustrated with myself for being so irritated! I felt like I was in a downward spiral and wasn't sure how to climb back up.  

Frustration is defined as: The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something. Well that fit me to a "T". It's been a little over a year since I quit my corporate job and I am just beginning to see that I really don't like having to rely on others.... for anything.  

Starting at the young age of 14 I began earning my own paycheck which allowed me some liberties to shop for some items I had always wanted. My parents, raising 4 children on one income, weren't able to  always purchase my wants. They instead were trying to keep 4 kids needs fulfilled first. As my age and experience progressed, so did my paychecks. It was exhilarating to be able to buy items with my own money.

After I got married, I once again had to squelch the wants and focus on our needs. Almost right away, my honey and I found ourselves in debt with children coming. We had to shuffle and pinch every penny we made. Much later down the road, after many hard lessons we finally began to breathe when our paychecks begin to afford us some luxuries. 

In April of 2012 after much prayer and deliberation, honey and I agreed it was time that I could step away from a stressful job and focus on doing something I really wanted to do.  Shortly after this major change, the frustration moved in.

Here is what I have come to realize that was making me so frustrated (read: the inability to change or achieve something). 1. I wasted a LOT of money once I had it.  2. I no longer bring in an income. 3. I really don't have a clue what I want to do.

My aha moment has been coming along slowly, but chapter 6 has helped to nail it down. First, the realization that God has good things for me has caused Satan to take notice.   Tracie says " the enemy wants us to feel discouraged and ill-equipped to handle life."  That is exactly where I've been recently!  She goes onto say "So he puts pride in our hearts, making us think we are capable of being self-sufficient." I never really realized that I had that kind of pride in me. But yes, since I was 14 I was doing things for myself that others either couldn't or wouldn't do for me. So shortly after I quit my job, I was still in "I can do it all by myself" mode.  Then reality hit.
"Until we embrace his sovereignty and power as the only way and quit trying to do things our own way, we will be  doomed to a life of frustration and stress." -Tracie Miles

John 15: 4-5 tells us all so elegantly, that without Christ, we can do nothing.  Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.  Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

Father God, I thank you that You have opened my eyes to the root of my frustration. I am so done being frustrated and want to live a blessed life. I thank You that You are a merciful and patient father who has been waiting on me to realize I have to stay focused on YOU to be successful in anything I do. Forgive me of my pride. Lord, please continue to shape me into the person You want me to be and let me be a witness to others to seek You first in all things.  

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

He Will

Week five of the online bible study with Melissa Taylor brought us to Chapter 5 in the book Stressed-Less Living, Finding God’s Peace in Your Chaotic World by Tracie Miles 

This chapter titled “Take Back Your Life” was filled with so much insight it’s hard to unwrap it all.  One of the sentences in this chapter that really hit me was:

·      “True faith is not passive, but active…”

The Dictionary defines faith as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something” and “belief that is not based on proof”. The biblical definition of faith can be found In Hebrews chapter 11 verse 1. Here the Greek translation is telling us that faith is both the substance of things hoped for and the evidence that things exist that are not yet perceived with the senses.

We all have faith in something. We can’t see love, but we have faith that our parents and/or spouses hold it for us.  We can’t see air, but we have faith that when we breathe, air will fill our lungs. We go to bed at night having faith that we will wake up in the morning. All these we just KNOW will happen. This is faith with peace and confidence. This is the faith we need to have concerning God's promises.

Another sentence that had me using my highlighter is:

·      “As we make faith a priority and learn to trust in God’s plans even if we do not understand them or like them, the doors will be flung wide open for God to enter our lives and begin his mighty work.”

God tells us in Psalms 37: 3-5 “Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight (great pleasure) in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you.”   Those are some strong promises!! But in order to get the promises we have to take action. We have to make faith a priority and learn to trust God. 

Faith is a heart thing. Only you and God know where your faith lies. Psalms 37 says we are to commit EVERYTHING we do to the Lord. That means to agree or pledge to do something in the future.  This isn’t a fly by night promise, this message has teeth!  This is like committing to a marriage but never breaking that vow, through thick and thin, til death do us part!  When we are that committed, God will open doors for us and give us whatever our heart desires.  The funny kicker here is, by then our heart desires what God wants for us, not necessarily that million dollars we've been wanting or a physical healing to make our lives easier, (although He could do that) but to be used by Him. It’s when we take great pleasure in the Lord that He will give us our hearts desires.

And last, but certainly not least as there were so many things I highlighted in this chapter:

·      Because of her faith, Hannah became a different person, even when her circumstances stayed the same.”

Hannah (1 Samuel 1) endured years of belittling (bullying) by her co-wife because she was barren. She prayed for years for God to give her a child. She became so despondent that she stopped eating and cried continuously.  Basically she went into depression.

But she held unto her faith that God would give her a child.  She didn’t get pregnant year after year, yet she stayed committed in her prayers to God. Her circumstance didn’t change, but Hannah did.  She didn’t give up and became determined, pouring her heart out to the Lord. Eli, the priest, thought she was drunk she was so into her prayer that she didn’t even notice him as she focused on God.

Hannah was committed. Even though God was silent toward her request for a child for many years, she never stopped praying. She had faith that God had the power to help her. She not only believed that God could give her a child, but she knew that God would give her a child. She never doubted God's abilities, and God didn’t let her down. But it was in His timing, not hers. God blessed Hannah with Samuel, and as she promised God, Hannah gave Samuel back to God. Samuel became a prophet and a judge and a "Faith Hall of Fame"-er. Hannah later had three more sons and two daughters. God abundantly blessed Hannah.

We all have times in our lives, some longer than others, where we feel we are going nowhere. Or we’ve prayed about some things and God seems to be continually silent on those matters. Don’t lose faith. God is there. Waiting for our hearts to be right where He needs it to be. Your circumstance may not change for awhile, but your heart can. God is waiting on us to have faith where we KNOW He will bring it to pass. The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it! 1Thes 5:4

Influenced By My Legacy to Transform

Romans 12:2 was one (of many) of my momma's favorite scriptures. Mom would spend hours in the word, verse mapping, praying scripture, and journaling what she received from God.  She always tried to encourage me to start my day out with God, spending time in His word, renewing my mind.  She always said, “You can’t know God’s will if you don’t know God’s heart”.  Mom often likened knowing someone had spent time with God by having God’s fragrance on them.

Have you ever hugged someone and his or her cologne or perfume rubbed off on you? A sure sign that you were close to that person. When we spend time with God getting close to Him through His word, His fragrance rubs off on us too.

By spending time with God, in His word, listening for His word to us, we are renewing (starting over, refurbishing) our minds.  When we do this, it is then that we get to know God’s character. And by knowing His character we can then test (take measures to check the quality, performance or reliability of something, especially before it’s taken into widespread practice), and approve (believe that something is good and acceptable) what God’s will (intention, desire or wish) is.

Often times when I was a teenager, mom would let me decide about going out with my school friends with a precaution to pray about my decision first.  This well known scripture would convict me time and time again. Do not conform to the pattern of this world……Don’t be a part of the socially accepted example of this world…. But refurbish your mind. Only then would I be able to check the quality and know that something was good and acceptable and lining up with what God’s desires for my life was.  Often times, when I put this into practice, I had to tell my friends I couldn't participate with them in their activities.

Momma left us in 2004 and has taken up permanent resident in Her Fathers house, but she left all four of her children a legacy. To know God, really know Him.  Romans 12:2 was one of the scriptures she lived out daily.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2 NIV

I still come back to this scripture, and when I do, I think of Momma. She was always pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus Phil 3:14 and encouraging each of us kids to do the same.

Father, I ask that you continue to work in my life while I work on renewing my mind. I want to be Christ-minded, not conforming to the pattern of the world, but to be an example to others in my words, behavior, spirit, love and faith (I Tim 4:12). Thank you for being eternally gracious and merciful. In Jesus name.

May 21, 1938 - June 28, 2004

Miss you momma.

Healthy Tomorrow

This week’s online bible study on Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles, hosted by Melissa Taylor,  has the online bible study group reading the chapter titled “The Silent Killer”.  In this chapter, Tracie shared a study she read that stated that “stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes and other illnesses, Stress also affects the immune system, which protects us from many serious diseases. “

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, I began searching for answers as to why I got cancer when I had no other risk factors besides being Caucasian.  Stress kept popping up in many of the articles and studies that I came across. Just this past February, I wrote a blog where I mentioned my realization about reducing stress and the benefits of giving thanks and trusting in God instead of stressing. Read that article here.

God’s timing is perfect.  I “happened” to come across this bible study that is dealing with stress.  It is taking me further into reducing my stress and I love that she is incorporating scriptures where God is speaking to us about reducing stress as well.

Each Thursday Melissa hosts a blog hop and suggests a few topics to blog about.  I chose Healthy Tomorrow as my topic. There were so many other topics I could have chosen to discuss from my blessings (which I can never be done talking about!) to parenting to verse mapping (which I LOVE to do!). But I feel like I am learning so much about good health and its affects on our body that I love being able to tie in what God says about this topic as well.  Tracie asks us to talk about what choices we need to make, or have already made to deal with stress.

Our reflection verse this week is Isaiah 30: 15. I loved the Complete Jewish Bible version: 

¹⁵ For this is what Adonai Elohim,
the Holy One of Isra’el, says:
“Returning and resting is what will save you;
calmness and confidence will make you strong —
but you want none of this!

Funny, as in  “I’ve never noticed this before kind of way funny", that God is telling us that resting will save us and calmness will make us strong!…. And He goes on to say, “but you want none of this!”  We all know that stress is a killer, or many of us do anyway, yet we choose to do nothing about it!  We accept stress as being a part of our lives today!  As Tracie Miles points out in her book, stress is a chronic disease yet we accept it as normal! Cancer is a disease too, but how many of us would just accept this as something we have to live with and refuse treatment?  So why do we do it with stress?

I have begun working on de-stressing in my life.  I’ve made some large life-changing decisions, which I’ve discovered bring their own stress levels into the picture. I’ve begun to eat healthier and make other healthy choices in my life too. I know the choices I’ve made are for the better, but I also feel there is more I can do. When given the challenge to talk about the choices we can make or have already made, immediately one word came to my mind. Typically anytime something comes that quickly to mind, God is behind it.  So let me share with you the challenge I feel God is quickening to my spirit to aid in stressing less and becoming healthier.  It sounds so easy, yet for me is rare these days...  Laughter.  Simple right? Yet, I can’t tell you the last time I laughed out loud.  I’ve smiled, I’ve chuckled, but it’s been years since I’ve had a good laugh.

Proverbs 17:22 says: A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

According to the Mayo Clinic “A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally; it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can:

• ·      Stimulate many organs.
• ·      Activate and relieve your stress response
• ·      Soothe tension

Laughter isn't just a quick pick-me-up, though. It's also good for you over the long haul. Laughter may

• ·      Improve your immune system.
• ·      Relieve pain.
• ·      Increase personal satisfaction.”

Laughter has also been shown to have beneficial effects on various other aspects of biochemistry. For example, laughter has been shown to lead to reductions in stress hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine. When laughing the brain also releases endorphins that can relieve some physical pain.^[19] Laughter also boosts the number of antibody-producing cells and enhances the effectiveness of T-cells, leading to a stronger immune system ^[20

Who knew?  Information is great!  We know that laughter is good medicine. Now, how do we make ourselves laugh?

Lord, I thank you for allowing me to "stumble" across this online bible study that is challenging me in many ways, to de-stress and to laugh more. Simple things that are not done so simply, yet Your word tells us to rest and to have a joyful heart.  I praise you that you take care of us both spiritually and physically. Lord, you desire us to have a fruitful and joyful life here on earth. This just gives me glimpses into what heaven must be like. Father, send whom you will into my life to aid in teaching me how to laugh again. I thank you and look forward to where you are taking me in this lesson to de-stress.  What a wonderful God we serve!

19^ "Why Laughter May Be the Best Pain Killer". Scientific American. Retrieved 11 October 2011.

20^ ^a b Smith Lee, B. (1990). Humor relations for nurse managers. Nursing Management, 21, 86

Spring!

Spring is finally arriving.

My honey and I went to F.A. Seiberling Nature Realm  Sunday afternoon. 

The trees were blooming everywhere!

Lovely

It was a cool, but bright day, a great day for a walk.

I want these in my yard.

I just couldn't get enough of these beauties.